JotCast | Dan Szymborski FanGraphs Chat

Dan Szymborski FanGraphs Chat - 5/21/2020

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Guest

12:46

uhhhhhh what is.... I mean, how do you.... I'm choking

Dan Szymborski

12:46

Hey, we'll always annoying Szymemes.

12:47

My latest bit of obnoxiousness is Boba Chette.

12:49

And Field of Dreams plot synopses by neural network.

Sam

12:50

You get to give one historical player improved health, but you have to give a comparable modern player those injury problems (e.g. you can give Koufax Kershaw's health but Kershaw retires at 31 with an arthritic elbow). Who's your swap?

Dan Szymborski

12:50

Can I save Ed Delahanty from railroad-related deaths and then give that to a modern player, who will simply fly in a plane because it's not a 1920s murder mystery novel?

Numpty

12:50

What other food processor exploits of yours might surprise us?

Dan Szymborski

12:50

Not sure if there's any

12:51

Though I like to puree celery for pasta sauce because I hate chunks of celery

Moe

12:51

So the Astros scandal was huge news before the pandemic, even outside of the baseball world. Now they will completely avoid the wrath of the fans. What can we do to express our disgust?

Dan Szymborski

12:51

Give htem polio?

Guest

12:51

how long did you play baseball? when/why did you quit?

Dan Szymborski

12:51

high school. because I sucked too much to go beyond

Dbo

12:51

I don’t know what to do now, I need an adult!

Guest

12:51

not to be morbid, but what would happen to ZiPS if something happened to you? do you have instructions for someone to come into your house and send the file to Appleman or something?

Dan Szymborski

12:51

I haven't given it enough thought honestly

Guest

12:51

rank according to theme songs ONLY: full house, family matters, perfect strangers, saved by the bell, night court, family ties

Dan Szymborski

12:52

perfect strangers, full house, night court, family ties, family matters, saved by the bell

hscer

12:52

I don't remember the wooden spaceship in GoT I mean FoD

Guest

12:52

do you plan out meals for a week and do all of your grocery shopping one day, shop for daily needs, or a hodgepodge of those approaches?

Dan Szymborski

12:52

Kind of a mix, though I do only order groceries once a week

Sam

12:52

Yes that's acceptable but a player still does in a plane crash

Dan Szymborski

12:53

THAT WASN'T PART OF THE DEAL, THE INJURY IS SPECIFICALLY RAILROAD TRACK RETINOPATHY

Guest

12:53

dan this celery take is your worst yet. Celery is there FOR its texture! You might as well just omit it from the recipe!

Dbo

12:53

Gumbo is just southeastern chili

BarryBondsJuicedForOurSins

12:53

Golden Girls is the best TV theme song. @me

hscer

12:53

Sam with baseball's version of the trolley problem

Defenestrater

12:53

How do you think Jerry Dipoto is doing with his trade detox?

Dan Szymborski

12:53

Not well, I assume he's paid per trade.

hscer

12:53

I question the second premise of Moe's question.

Dan Szymborski

12:53

There's also growing pains.

12:54

To finish the chat, I will record the Growing Pains theme song.

12:57

https://soundcloud.com/dan-szymborski/growing-pains/s-giAA73ZFVDf

hscer

12:58

how is there an actual semi-famous person named Han Soto rather than that being some sort of bad Han Solo/Juan Soto meme

Golden Girls

12:58

That's the best one

Sam

12:58

What is railroad track retinopathy? He was kicked off a train for being drunk then died when he fell over Niagra falls

Dan Szymborski

12:58

It can be alcohol-induced

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