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Live Writing Window - Descriptive Writing
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Mr Shelton
9:47
Good afternoon Year 5
Hannah and Freya
9:48
Good afternoon Mr Shelton
Marcel and Tyler
9:49
Good afternoon sir
Valerie and Leighton
9:50
Good afternoon Mr Shelton
Leland and Jack
9:50
Hi
Lucas and Ruby
9:50
Hi
Haylen and Jack
9:50
Good afternoon Mr.Shelton
Emily and Lewis
9:50
Hi good afternoon Mr Shelton.
Malaika and Maizy
9:50
Are you having a good day?
Lucas and Ruby
9:50
Have you had a good day?
Praise and Jenelle
9:51
This is great!
Mr Shelton
10:00
Write a descriptive sentence.
Emily and Lewis
10:03
The mirroring lake mimed the faded trees.
Mr Shelton
10:04
Fantastic start.  Mimed? could you up-level this word?
Praise and Jenelle
10:03
The ice cold water gently swayed as snowflakes glided along the top.
Taya and Bobby
10:04
The white ,fluffy snow getting deeper as it goes.
Haylen and Jack
10:05 
The mythic water surrounded the thick crunchy snow.
Malaika and Maizy
10:05
It was a cold winter day,  I went out to see the small crunchy leaves fall elegantly on to the glimmering water as it reflected.
Mr Shelton
10:05
I love this sentence.  What did it reflect?
Lucas and Ruby
10:06
The tall,green trees reflecting on the crystal clear lake.
Valerie and Leighton
10:06
As I stepped  on the white snow. My feet sank and I happend to see a beautiful lake with the refection of the trees.
Praise and Jenelle
10:08
The tall trees appeared to look like they were going to tower over me swaying in the misty wind
Leland and Jack
10:09
The cold, white snow sank under my feet slowly. The crystal, clear water reflected the snow on the oak wood trees.
Mr Shelton
10:09
Wonderful writing.  Could this sentence work with a fronted adverbial?
Praise and Jenelle
10:09
The tall trees appeared to look like it was going to tower over me,whilst swaying in the misty wind.
Taya and Bobby
10:09
The glimmering water danced gracefully around my feet.
Mr Shelton
10:10
Love the personification!
Tyler and Marcel
10:10
The crystal clear lake glistened in the distance. The fluffy snow sounded like a crisp when you stand on it.
Mr Shelton
10:11
Great description of the lake.  Could you think of a different simile for the sound of the snow?
Emily and Lewis
10:11
The mirroring lake reflected the faded trees.
Hannah and Freya
10:12
The tall waving trees scratching the white misty sky. I noticed the lake as a mirror because it was reflecting the vastness surrounding me.
Mr Shelton
10:12
This is brilliant writing.  Do you need some punctuation in between your list of adjectives?
Praise and Jenelle
10:12
In the distance the crystal clear water reflected the tall, slender,white trees.
Emily and Lewis
10:12
The puffy,whight snow coverd the horizon as the elegant snowflakes glided across the crystal clear lake.
Haylen and Jack
10:12
The darkly faded trees swept in the distance.
Mr Shelton
10:14
You continue walking through the forest and stumble upon this house.  Continue your story.
Tyler and Marcel
10:19
The white fluffy snow, crunched at the centre of my feet.
Leland and Jack
10:19
Between the sea and the sky
Hannah and Freya
10:19
The tall, waving trees scratched the white, misty sky. I notice the lake as a mirror because it reflected the vastness surrounding me
Mr Shelton
10:20
Well spotted.
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