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Toby and Dani
6:50
The clouds were as murky as putting dirt into a bath and the clouds were opake since you can't see through them.
Ffion and Harvey
6:50
The murky dark sky with opaque clouds, silently proceeded across to his next position. By Harvey The dark leafless tree with sharp twigs, swayed viciously as the dangerous stormy wind howled as it crashed against it. by Ffion
Jack and Ella
6:50
The drenched, bare, trees were as wet as a dripping roof they were dancing as recklessly as a stormy sea next to an empty, flooded road with street lamps beaming down on the reflective, murky water.
Peaches & Ollie
6:50
Hay Kobe and Amelia ,we really like your paragraph but you can change the word windows.
Eva and Daniel
6:51
The clouds as gloomy as Mondays stared down at the deserted buildings but suddenly in the breeze a noise was heard.
Kris and Matilda
6:52
The drizzly,moist rain was driving towards the saturated,drenched roads with cars blindingly bright headlights getting bathed in the rain.
Miss Parsons
6:52
Hello Eva and Daniel, you have attempted to use a relative clause. Think carefully about you punctuation and check your tenses.
Peaches & Ollie
6:52
The cars with bright, circular headlamps drove through the treacherous, flooded highway like a lion chasing after it's prey.
TJ and Arthur
6:52
The gloomy, grey headlamps scared everyone down the haunted street.
Willow and Josh
6:52
The grey misty clouds, which were sitting on the moldy ,abandoned, freak house were ready to explode on the flooded street at any minute
Toby and Dani
6:53
you need to put a full stop at the end - willow and josh
summer,connor
6:53
Hello  Kaci and johnny put  a similes in your woke it will make it more intresting to read.The snetin is good.
Isabel and Ryan
6:54
Hello Kris and Matilda, i think you need a comma in between bright and blinding
Willow and Josh
6:54
The grey misty clouds, which were sitting on the moldy ,abandoned, freak house were ready to explode on the flooded street at any minute.
Rocky and Josie
6:54
The alarming, abandoned house was underneath the starless, goolmy sky and it was like a silent, old grave yard.
Jack and Ella
6:54
Hello Kris and Matilda, please find a different word for moist as it is water and water is wet.
TJ and Arthur
6:54
The haunted hall scared everyone out of the world.
Miss Parsons
6:54
Hello Kris and Matilda, can you use different adjectives and verbs than 'moist' and 'driving' . Does the adverb work?
Lillie and max
6:55
The old ,abandon hotel with rooftiles falling off was standing still in the rain.
Eva and Daniel
6:55
Hello Tj and Arthur we liked your work but maybe add some similes and add a metaphor.
Toby and Dani
6:55
Willow and Josh well done for the full stop :)
Isabel and Ryan
6:55
to Peaches and Ollie,I do not agree with the way you put highway because the A47 is a highway so it should be road other than that it  is a good sentence
Miss Parsons
6:56
Hi Tawni-Jai and Arthur, can you think carefully about what the headlamps are doing in the picture.
Rocky and Josie
6:56
The alarming, abandoned house was underneath the starless, gloomy sky and it was like a silent, old grave yard.
Caleb and Emily
6:56
Isabel and Ryan great sentence  I don't now how to improve it.
Isabel and Ryan
6:56
To Peaches and Ollie,I do not agree with the way you put highway because the A47 is a highway so it should be road other than that it  is a good sentence.
Willow and Josh
6:57
The empty run down , abandoned house had foot steps leading to the ebony, black ,broken door.
Kris and Matilda
6:57
The deserted, remote house, which has cracked windows, and the inside was an abandoned dump but on the outside it was like a cottage in a storm.
Miss Parsons
6:57
Hi Rocky and Josie, do you need the 'and it was like...' could you use 'as' instead?
Jack and Ella
6:57
Hello Rocky and Josie can you correct the word goolmy to gloomy.
Toby and Dani
6:57
Lillie and Max, you need a space somewere  and take away a space but its very good
kaci and Johnny
6:57
To Dani and Toby your sentences were great but you need a full stop. Many thanks Johnny and Kaci
Eva and Daniel
6:58
Hello Lillie and Max we liked your sentence but next time can you make your sentence a little longer. :)
Willow and Josh
6:58
The haunted house with nobody in there there was a crash.
Kobe and Amelia
6:58
Hi Rocky and Josie, I like you description but we think that you need to check the spelling of gloomy.
Isabel and Ryan
6:58
Very effective Rocky and Josie very good.
Peaches & Ollie
6:58
The cars with bright, circular headlamps drove through the treacherous, flooded road like a lion chasing after it's prey.
Miss Parsons
6:59
Hello Lillie and Max, you have written a relative clause. Please punctuate this correctly. Look at the working wall for help if  you are unsure.
Rocky and Josie
6:59
The dark, wet clouds were moving through the blank, starless sky.
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