JotCast | Unannounced Carson Cistulli Awful Chat

Unannounced Carson Cistulli Awful Chat - 4/16/18

Carson Cistulli

1:48

Hello. Dan Szymborski is indisposed today. I will be your substitute for this "chat." Will begin in earnest approximately 15 minutes from now.

2:00

Okay. I will now begin in earnest.

Ben

2:01

Why are you doing this?

Carson Cistulli

2:01

To make some use of myself.

Claude

2:02

Venez vous à Montreal cet été?

Carson Cistulli

2:02

I am. I can not speak to the city as a whole. That said, the quarter in which I have typically stayed -- just southeast, I guess, of the Little Italy -- is one of the most perfect neighborhoods I've ever visited.

bbmoney

2:03

Carson, it's only 40 PAs and it's his first taste of AA. So I probably shouldn't be worried, but I am worried about Zack Short's K rate thus far. Should I actually be worried already? Or should I write off my worries, as the worries of a chronic worrier?

Bored Employee

2:03

One of Zack Short's primary selling points was that he was able to avoid striking out. That's not been the case thus far this year. Are you concerned?

DTH

2:03

Zack Short 42.5% k rate...the Fringe Five gods are testing our faith...

Carson Cistulli

2:04

A number of readers are concerned about Zack Short. I'm in no position to allay concerns -- about Zack Short or anything else. Life is defined, if nothing else, by an unceasing barrage of concerns. Fortunately, it is also meaningless!

asabin

2:04

What do you regard as your own best poem?

Carson Cistulli

2:04

Whatever words appear on my epitaph.

Nelson

2:05

Is Kluber the Fringe 5er that you liked the most before he graduated off the list? Any other recent fringes fivers you have been more enamored with than the others?

Carson Cistulli

2:06

While I would very much *like* to lay claim to having "called" Corey Kluber, my infatuation with him began only after he'd been promoted to the major leagues.

2:08

As for any other favorites... well, it's all sort of fleeting, isn't it? Currently, Short is probably the player I'd say is most talented relative to his pedigree.

Cardinals RHP Ryan Helsley, from last year, is also quite promising.

Bored Employee

2:08

It seems the podcast frequency has dipped somewhat. Any chance that picks back up?

Carson Cistulli

2:09

It has, and it's all Dave Cameron's fault.

Starting the first week of May, however, we will return to two episodes a week.

Meg Rowley fanclub

2:09

Why isn't Meg on every single Fangraphs podcast for every episode? Whyyyyyyyyyyyy??????

Carson Cistulli

2:10

Because Meg is a person with decency and taste.

Professor Zazzle Grass

2:10

What libations should I have while I enjoy this chat?

Carson Cistulli

2:10

This chat isn't designed to be enjoyed, bur rather *endured.*

2:11

That said, I will suggest the Petite Sirah from Crane Lake. Only $4.49 per bottle.

blooper

2:14

any good cioran aphorisms for a braves fan who suffered through saturday's "pitching" by the team's "bullpen?"

Carson Cistulli

2:14

"Only one thing matters: learning to be the loser."

(From The Trouble with Being Born)

Business word user

2:14

Carson, what is fangraphs doing to increase strategic dynamism?

Carson Cistulli

2:15

We're delivering the firm.

Clark

2:15

Do you think we could convince a real life judge to issue a subpoena summoning Dayn Perry to appear on a new episode of Fangraphs Audio. Imagine the hot anti-judge takes!!!

Carson Cistulli

2:16

I will ask Sheryl Ring if there's a way.

2:17

If all current and past Fangraphs employees were to play a slow pitch softball game, who would most closely capture the joie de vivre of Bartolo Colon?

Klubot3000

2:19

I'm interested in your perspective on the enigma that is Bartolo Colon. Fascinating as a player, but problematic off the field. How does one balance the wonder of incessantly repeated 88mph fastballs dominating the best lineup in baseball with his many off-the-field flaws?

Carson Cistulli

2:19

I'll answer the first question, at least...

2:20

Most FanGraphs writers lack the necessary physical strength even to get a batted ball to the outfield.

That said, I'd like to watch Travis Sawchik play softball. He possesses a quiet enthusiasm for the world that I respect.

Dominik

2:20

Have you talked or texted with Cameron after his departure? And when is he quitting in San Diego and coming back to fangraphs? January 2020, over or under?

Carson Cistulli

2:21

I have texted a little, but mostly to ask about his family. He occasionally writes to note ways in which I'm doing my job incorrectly.

Billy Beane

2:22

Carson, first time caller, long time listener, do you think this chat will be more disappointing or more underwhelming? I'll take my answer off air.

Carson Cistulli

2:22

I mean, I'm efforting to hit maximum levels of both.

Mister V

2:22

What's the best place to eat in or near Portland, Maine?