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3rd June Show
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Freya pensby primary school
10:32
I could hear a police siron in the gloom. No birds tweeting. No lovely smell of a fresh, warm bakery. Though i could smell the poisonous gloom of car fumes and I could hear loud sirens and horns.
Kit -Weldon ce primary school
10:32
I can see a busy bee
Ellie R Stockland Primary
10:32
I regret going up all the of the steps to the very top flat.
Sasha from Warren Road
10:32
The putrid smell of a day old bin bag fill my nostrils as walk around the deserted playground .
Phoebe 11 RJS
10:32
I still remember his snarl as he pounced on me with a knife.
Thomas - Birchwood Primary Schoo
10:32
The gloomy high rise buildings towered above the small town houses.
Utkarsha-Warren Road
10:32
I can hear the car’s horn beep every thirty second.
Edith
10:32
I could see the long line of teenagers queueing up to buy the latest trends.
Tilly Place Wood
10:32
the fog was as thick as anything that you can ever imagine.
Amelia R Home Lingfield primary
10:32
I can see my dad doing work in the tallest skyscrapers in the world.
Kit -Weldon ce primary school
10:32
The full moon brightened my eyes
Guest
10:32
I regret moving school. Nobody notices me and they leave me in the corner of the playground.
Ted K.B Lionel Primary School
10:32
I can't see my best friend because of Covid-19.
Utkarsha-Warren Road
10:32
I love yours Poppy.
Georgina
10:32
I can see shafts of golden light reflecting off gleaming skyscrapers that get lost in the wispy clouds. As I look down my head starts to spin and I grab hold of the nearest black leather chair to steady myself. I'm in 1 of the tallest skyscrapers waiting for my dad to come out of the tiny office in the endless hall.
Amelia R Home Lingfield primary
10:32
Lucy I love it.
Freya pensby primary school
10:32
I can see people with there handbags blowing in the wind whilst they are rushing to work.
Ted K.B Lionel Primary School
10:32
I can see my new trampoline.
Freya pensby primary school
10:33
I couldn’t smell a single flower 💐
Lyra and Henry
10:33
I wish I could escape the hustle, business and loudness of the city and be a bird. I’d love to be among the others, swooping down and then flying, high, high, high, above the clouds and into the sky, the realm of freedom where nothing can hold you back.
Mrs James
10:34
Georgina, I can see you have really thought about your writing.  This makes such a big difference.  Fantastic imagery such as shafts of light.  Keep going, this is the beginning of a story that needs to be written.
Freya, short sentence but it conveys so much.  We don't always need to write a long sentence to give the reader a powerful image.  Well done.
Buster SwW
10:35
I can hear the cars whizzing by to work, I can smell the ashes of the leftover fuel in the air. I can see the sky scraper ruling of the city like it was the king there it’s taller than anything with its iron shining over the city
Ted K.B Lionel Primary School
10:36
I can't see my mum because she's gone to school as a key worker.
Mrs James
10:36
Amelia, what is the work that your dad is doing?  Add the next sentence to your writing.
Thomas - Birchwood Primary Schoo
10:36
The tall skyscrapers tickled the fluffy clouds.
Freya pensby primary school
10:36
Though I could see a flower being crushed under someone’s thick, brown waterproof boot.
Mrs James
10:37
Ted, although you can't see her, can you still sense what she would be saying as you write your ideas?
Jess@John Moore Primary
10:38
I wish it was quieter here.  Everyone rushes around and it is always too loud.
Mrs James
10:39
Guest, your writing is very emotive.  Who can your main character talk to about how they are feeling?
Zak@John Moore Primary
10:39
I can taste the sweet smell of hots dogs wafting from the market.
Evie@John Moore Primary
10:39
In the distance, the houses look miniature and the people resemble ants scurrying on the ground.
Ryan@John Moore Primary
10:40
I can smell the stench from the sewers drifting upwards.
Lyndhurst Junior School
10:49
I can see cars with their engines roaring like lions.
I can hear the hustle and bustle of the city.
Freya pensby primary school
10:49
I could see a massive sky scraper taller than a cloud.
Thomas - Birchwood Primary Schoo
10:49
The humongous skyscrapers towered over the town.
Ted K.B Lionel Primary School
10:49
Yes, I can Mr James
Katie R @Stockland Primary
10:49
Brilliant
Dean shelton juniors
10:49
I can feel the vibrations under my feet of the heavy morning traffic. I can see smoke bellowing out of factory chimneys into the atmosphere. The streets are packed with people rushing around going about their daily tasks. I can hear sirens from emergency service vehicles. In the surrounding parks i can see tall green trees, birds and animals.
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