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8th June Show
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Mr Simpson Summerfields
10:24
Rylee - well done for using the semi-colon! Check spelling: throw please
arthur richards@oaksey school
10:24
these are all so good well done emliyLEH I love the idea of the shark tank
Arthur SWW
10:24
Her tatty bag, scuffed shoes and loose shirt looked out of place from the other kids, with their branded trainers and baseball caps worn back-to-front.
Mrs Kilgour
10:24
Rylee - great use of a semi-colon for a pause which empasises how much he misses his friends. Throw - or through?
6B Micklefield
10:25
I moved into the classroom, beady eyes staring at me and I felt like the odd M and M out.
Phoebe 11 RJS
10:25
I was wearing light blue, they were wearing navy. I stuck out like a sore thumb. The eyes of the students pierced me. They were like predators, waiting for a moment of weakness in which to pounce on me.
Tilly@ palace wood
10:25
She walked into the room. The children gave a cold stare. They didn’t like anyone that didn’t stand out
keith
10:25
they looked as if I was an alien that they'd brought down from mars and was in a completely different plain f existense
Hannah from St Andrews Primary
10:25
Ahmet slowly gazed around, overwhelmed in sights and smells.
keerat
10:25
He missed the smell of the roses and bluebells but here all he could smell was the black smoke swallowing the playground from the city streetsa.
Micklefield 6M
10:25
When I walked into the school, all I could smell was the staring kids. I was different and I knew it.
Oakleigh Summerfields
10:25
I miss how there was lots of room, but now there's lots of dust and other annoying wood planks.
Freya pensby primary school
10:25
I couldn’t fit in. I felt like I was different. In my old school we where all the same here I deal different.
Pen Pen Malorees Junior School
10:25
I stept out of the top floor of our appsrtment and saw all of the high rised buildings of Ho Chi Mimh City, not a tree in sight. So different from my treelined street at home. No greenery anywhere, just concrete paths and buildings.
Hatty
10:25
she missed playing with all her friends and instead of trees and flowers there were sheds,and stairs. Her new school smelled of oranges and bananas but her old school smelled of flowers and rainbows.
Izzy SWW
10:25
Halve a dozen eyes stared at me, I wanted to run away.
Larraine H
10:25
Keith  Love this image - Look at the spelling of the first word - needs editing but a great start for a story.
Chloe-SWW
10:25
I looked around. A person came to me. I tried to speak, but it came out in a mixture of french, and Korean.
Utkarsha-Warren Road.
10:25
He came in to the classroom with a bag,scratches carved in to it.
George Llandogo
10:25
Jose walked into the school as an exchange student, but felt like the king of the classroom.
Mrs Kilgour
10:25
Arthur - very insightful! I think that's a feeling that many children   will empathise with.
Alfie WHPS
10:25
He missed his old friends and teachers at his old school: as he didn't know anyone here, and also the teachers always gave him a horrible, mischievous  glare.
Beverley Naidoo
10:25
So much empathy here... using imagination to take yourself somewhere else...
George Martin -WR 5A
10:25
He had a different accent different personality why couldn't he have a Scottish accent like everybody here.
Ju-Ah Sacred Heart Nm
10:25
When the teacher wasn’t looking, one evil tongue stuck out at me. How I wish I could wipe that smirk off!
Zack West Field
10:25
As I walked in everyone stared at me I want to blend I wanted to disappear into the normal I miss my friend I used to be confident now without my friends.
Mrs D
10:25
Ava - Great sentences.  I really like the short sentence at the end.  Remember that I needs a capital letter and you need some punctuation between doors and everybody
Guest
10:26
As I walked into my new classroom all eyes turned to me.I slowly looked around for a spare seat but I then realised I was so different I wished I could just stuff myself into my bag and hide.I waited for a bit and then the teacher called my name. She told me to sit right at the front next to the dirty windows and leave my school bag on the floor. The classroom smelt of wet grass not mangoes and blossoms
Mrs James
10:26
George, "Here he wasn't anybody."  This is a very powerful main clause.  If it has its own sentence, it has a greater effect on the reader.
Mrs Kilgour
10:26
George - I love that you have created a confident character for the contrast.
Miss Tobin
10:26
Eleanor - exactly! just how it feels to be the new student in a class.
Louie summerfields
10:26
He missed the smell of petrol from the rickety old tractor hear all he smelled was hand sanitiser and coffee.
Archie@John Moore Primary
10:26
I stepped through the gates, slowly.  Everybody was staring at me.  I shivered.  Everybody seemed so tall.
Douglas
10:26
He missed the sweet smell of bananas and seeing them grow on trees but here all he had to look at out of the window was cars passing in the grey city rain.
Utkarsha-Warren Road.
10:26
I missed the tangy taste of pomegranate.
Indu WHPS
10:26
She missed the warm friendly faces of her childhood companions, the fresh air of her primary school playground, here at secondary school, everyone had cold faces of disgust, glaring at her, like she would always be the odd one out.
Ava-Jay SWW
10:26
As I entered the big room through the red doors, I could smell apple pie steaming hot from the oven. As U was smelling the pie, my Mum glared at me as she was angry at me for coming inside.
Maya
10:26
I was in this room and didnt know were anything was. I missed the old wooden desktops and the really uncomfy chairs i felt like i was seperated from bith. i had a lum in my throat.
Isla
10:26
The boy drew a tall lady, a plump man, and a small boy, then, him.
chloe
10:26
she missed the smell of the farm and the warm weather as i held my breath everyone stared as if they had never seen a girl befor. i wonder why.
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