JotCast | Dan Szymborski FanGraphs Chat

Dan Szymborski FanGraphs Chat - 12/3/18

Prev Page View Full Chat Next Page

Dan Szymborski

1:16

Haven't played yet

This is a bad time of year for me to start new games

Ozzie Ozzie Albies Free

1:16

My 18 month old nephew has a howitzer for an arm. How can I encourage him to keep throwing hard while also keeping all of the windows intact?

Dan Szymborski

1:16

Have him throw the ball at your neighbors

Gub Gub

1:16

Where do you think you rank on the worldwide list of Beyonce impersonators? Don't be modest.

Dan Szymborski

1:16

Bottom third

Rocko

1:16

You're armed with only Socker Boppers from the 90s. You must fend off zombie toddlers approaching you in hordes. How many do you annihilate before succumbing to lethal ankle bites?

Dan Szymborski

1:16

Not many. You'd have to resort to smothering which isn't good against gruops

Lemonade

1:16

Do you regard the Italians as a culinary backwater because they never realized how close they were to cooking chili?

Dan Szymborski

1:16

They didn't put beans in, so they're fine

Dbo

1:17

I feel like I'm in an episode with two clones and I have to shoot the evil one, WHICH MATT DO I SHOOT DAN?!?

Dan Szymborski

1:17

Both to be sure. Haven't you heard Benjamin Franklin's quote that it's better to stop two innocent Matts rather than let one go free?

Matt

1:17

Hypothetically, lets say that tomorrow, Chuck Schumer proposes a bill to congress banning all chili from *not* having beans. Is this something you'd be willing to sacrifice your life on? As a martyr to the sans-bean cause?

Dan Szymborski

1:17

No, I just wouldn't eat chili

I'm not a revolutionary.

Lemonade

1:17

Okay, suppose a baby raised on spider milk spits up on your shoulder? Do you out it to the other ants?

Dan Szymborski

1:18

Gross, still wiping it up

Gub Gub

1:18

Are you sure your parents didn't give you Dinty Moore beef stew as a child and tell you it's chili?

Dan Szymborski

1:18

Yes

I'm not mean, just regressing

1:18

Which would make baseball more watchable for non fans: 16 seconds between in-at-bat pitches, or 7 innings?

Dan Szymborski

1:18

quicker pitches. I don't think it's game length htat's the problem, it's the down time

That Guy from Detroit

1:18

Isn't a pop-tart more of a pyrogi?

Dan Szymborski

1:18

pierogies are pop tarts

CamdenWarehouse

1:18

Have you considered selling your nephew to the military? Howitzer Arm cyborgs are right up their alley

Dan Szymborski

1:18

My nephew's not quite born, so I'd need a lot of cooperation from my sister

Purple Mays Haze

1:19

If the original Mini Pops released a new album now would you buy it?

Dan Szymborski

1:19

As long as it's the most explicit songs

Kidz Bop Sings Lil John

Gub Gub

1:19

Remember when the Red Hot Chili Peppers put socks on their junk? When will someone do the same thing, but with Hulk Hands?

Dan Szymborski

1:19

I'm surprised it hasn't been done

Matt

1:19

I think one thing me and the fake Matt can agree on is no beans in chili ?

Rocko

1:19

Would you rather have a full Burt Reynolds moustache above your belly button or toes for fingers?

Dan Szymborski

1:20

Reynolds moustache

Matt

1:20

Isn't spider milk just Mountain Dew?

Dan Szymborski

1:20

Yes

Ozzie Ozzie Albies Free

1:21

My gf likes facts and her favorite subject is the civil war. What’s a civil war fact I can use to appease her?

Dan Szymborski

1:21

after the battle of shiloh, some of the wounds attracted luminescent bacteria

CamdenWarehouse

1:21

I was talking to Ozzie, Dan

Danny Ruskin

1:21

Are mollusks just nature's sandwiches?

Dan Szymborski

1:21

No, because you can't eat the shells

Connecting…

Message History

On Off

Your current subscriptions

None

E-mail Address	Chat Owner	Status	Remove

Enter your email address to be notified when Dan Szymborski hosts a chat