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Descriptive Writing
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Harriet Jake
8:53
The mountains are snowy and the sun is shining out brite
Mr Shelton
8:54
Great sentence.  Can you check your spelling of 'brite'.
Dean&Myles
8:54
Wonderful boulder shaped cloud,as fluffy as wool.
Mr Shelton
8:55
Fantastic simile.
Daisy and Isla
8:55
Once upon a time on a cold winters morning with the snowy mountains in the background there was a tiny amazing farm.On the farm was a baby butifa
Kaidy Addie
8:56
The mounting Sid in the back Is suning
Brian Alice
8:56
Once upon a time there was a sweet old kind lady.Who lived joyfully alone in a grassy  bushy long fella
Mr Shelton
8:57
Lovely.  Would this work better as one sentence?
Lena and Charlie
8:57
The mountain’s  white snow and are so tall the can reach  those cloud’s .the house’s look old but pretty the grass is as genttull as bubbles’s and the flowers were as bride as the sun.
Mr Shelton
8:58
Great vocabulary.  Don't forget capital letters to start sentences.
Joel and Kinga
8:58
In the nice hot sunny day in a nice farm with a farmer taking care of the animals behind the farm there is a nice view of the beautiful mountains.!
Drew and Esther
8:58
A magnificent,green field,filled with healthy trees.In the field,houses and a farm go all around the area,with a beautiful,bright sun shining.
Lena and Charlie
8:59
Well done myles and dean
Charlotte and Vincent
8:59
Good job Lena charlie
Brian Alice
8:59
once upon a time there was a sweet old caring lady. Who lived joyfully alone in a grassy bushy long fielding
Mr Shelton
9:00
Imagine you walk through the hills and into this enchanted forest.  Continue the story with as much description as you can.
Joel and Kinga
9:02
In the small village there was a smallschool as there were not many children. Every day the children would
Guest
9:02
I love yours al
Lilie Cody
9:03
once Upon a time was a little boy that lived on a farm with is family on a open land by snowy mountains that look like fluffy white cuddly dog .
Joel and Kinga
9:03
In the mini village there was a minuscule school that taught the children of mountain village. Every day after school the children would be seen pouring out with happy faces and their parents felt elated that they always came home with a smile on their face!
Mr Shelton
9:04
Wow! Amazing! Your vocabulary is fantastic.
Daisy and Isla
9:04
On a cold winters day with the soft fluffy clouds in the sky was a lovely calming farm.On the farm lived a tiny beautiful pig and a tall brown horse.
Skyla AND BOBBY
9:06
you walk in to this village on top of the mountain every body welcome you and dance fantastically
Mr Shelton
9:06
Lovely sentence.  Don't forget capital letters and full stops.
Ella and Artur
9:07
The colourful trees. Around  a lake
Lena and Charlie
9:07
Your walking from the forest out of no were you end up here your freezing cold the trees are shining warm from up above the pond is clean no fish to be seen but you stumble across a mist of magic it helps you find the way home.
Mr Shelton
9:08
I love this! Well done.  Try adding in some punctuation (full stops, commas etc) to break up the sentences.
Dean&Myles
9:08
As we are taking a deep breath we couldn’t imagine anything better than this magical enchanted forest.With as clear as glass river with magical looking fish that had every colour on its scales.It also has  rainbow light, this place is breathtaking.
Mr Shelton
9:13
Brilliant.  I like your simile again.
Lilie Cody
9:08
Once upon at time I was walking up a enormous hill and seen an enchanted forest and I was really  amazed and it made me feel I was in a world of my own and it was a whole dream .
Mr Shelton
9:09
Amazing work! Be careful with 'a enormous', should you change that word 'a' to something else?
Ella r peace
9:09
peace:there was a beautiful village with a peaceful life until one day someone went to challenge the subzero temperatures and was able to sell some ice fossils for the village and grown flowers to get food for the village
Lena and Charlie
9:09
Ok sir
Brian Alice
9:09
dear diary as far as I went it was uooslus until I saw the most amazing thing in my inter life
Mr Shelton
9:10
Nice sentence.  Don't forget capital letters and full stops.
Joel and Kinga
9:10
Once upon a time I was on a walk with my dog then we went up a deep steep dark hill then we seen a forest with long grass wet trees with neon lights surrounding the forest with squirrels eating acorns.
Ella and artur
9:10
The colourful trees around the pink lake
Drew
9:10
It’s  just lights on trees and nothing is real reflections in the lake make two fake magical forests and I am not scared now
Mr Shelton
9:10
Wonderful sentence Drew.
Daisy and Isla
9:10
One night at 9:00pm there was a beautiful heartful little girl at the enchanted forest, In the enchanted forest there was rambow tall trees, also a reflected shining lake.
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