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Live Writing Window - Descriptive Writing
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Praise and Jenelle
10:20
Suddenly, an oak wood house was on fire as the beautiful colour faded.
Emily and Lewis
10:20
As I stepped into the winter wonderland I ventured further into the forest and came across this mysterious house.
Mr Shelton
10:21
I love the word 'ventured'.  Can you describe why the house is mysterious rather than just telling me it's mysterious.
Hannah and Freya
10:21
The flaming, hot fire burnt the the grass leaving a crunching sound when you step on it.
Haylen and Jack
10:21
The blinding moon shone above the old cabin illuminating the flames with a lovely scenery above
Mr Shelton
10:22
Amazing description.  Don't forget your punctuation.
Valerie and Leighton
10:22
Further on in the distance, I saw a  flamming house filled with lots of fire.
Lucas and Ruby
10:23
The dark, galaxy night sky looking down on the fire burning, old, stick made house.
Mr Shelton
10:23
Love it! Do you need 'galaxy' and 'night sky'?
Haylen and Jack
10:23
The dried out grass lead us to a flaming, cabin
Malaika and Maizy
10:24
It was a cold winter day,  I went out to see the small crunchy leaves fall elegantly as the tall green trees mirrored its self onto the crystal blue water.
Taya and Bobby
10:24
The glowing fire burst in to hot smoke.
Mr Shelton
10:24
Lovely writing.  Is 'in to' 2 words?
Hannah and Freya
10:24
The glowing, glimmering stars illuminated the dark gloomy sky.
Emily and Lewis
10:24
Suddenly, the house set into flames as I tried to enter the moon shone directly on top of the house reflecting the flames in its light.
Praise and Jenelle
10:24
Just then i heard a crunching craciling noise i turned around and saw a  beautiful hous getting burned to its lats inches of wood.
Mr Shelton
10:25
This is fantastic description.  Do you need to use a capital for the I?
Tyler and Marcel
10:26
The black, gloomy house's chimney eliminated into the dark empty sky.
Leland and Jack
10:26
We walked in the house to see the remains of what hasn't been burnt in the roaring of the fire.Suddenly the fire shot out the chimney and the roof started to crack.
Praise and Jenelle
10:26
Yes sorry.
Haylen and Jack
10:27
The orange fire was spotted in the distance burning upon a night sky.
Mr Shelton
10:27
'a night sky' or 'the night sky'?
Taya and Bobby
10:27
The glowing fire burst into hot, flaming smoke.
Mr Shelton
10:28
The flames settle and you enter what remains of the cabin.  This is what  you see.  Continue the story.
Emily and Lewis
10:38
Then a voice ran through my head calling me closer I tried to stay a far distance but I looked up into the night sky and then started to walk closer I couldent control my self.
Mr Shelton
10:39
Very nice writing.  Is 'my self' 2 words?
Hannah and Freya
10:39
As I opened the door to the abounded, flaming house heat started gushing out into my face.
Praise and Jenelle
10:39
The beautiful grass was burnt to it's last root leaving a trail of dust and decay.
Mr Shelton
10:40
Remember 'it's' is a contraction of 'it is'.  Does 'it is' read correctly in that sentence?
Tyler and Marcel
10:40
The glimmering stars filled up the sky
Lucas and Ruby
10:40
The dark, mysterious night sky looking down on the fire burning, old, stick made house
Tyler and Marcel
10:40
The walls are pealing away from the walls because the are decayed. The floors are creaking as soon as you take the lightest step you can take.
Mr Shelton
10:41
Take what?
Malaika and Maizy
10:41
i felt drawn to the frosty path it was an amazing scene.  I carried on walking then the path started burning into ashes and a smoky smell was lingering in the air and i was petrified when  i saw the burning house  so i wanted to find out more......
Mr Shelton
10:42
You've really pulled the reader in here.  Wonderful.  Don't forget capital for I.
Praise and Jenelle
10:42
We went into the demolished house to see if any light remained.
Taya and Bobby
10:42
The unstable floor was shaking behind me
Praise and Jenelle
10:42
No sir
Emily and Lewis
10:43
Then a voice ran through my head calling me closer I tried to stay a far distance but I looked up into the night sky and then started to walk closer I couldn't control myself.
Haylen and Jack
10:44
As I walked the remains of ash come falling of the ceiling and the smell of smoke choked me
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