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Live Writing Window - Descriptive Writing
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Mr Shelton
10:45
I really like this image you've created.  Don't forget punctuation, at the end of your sentence and after your fronted adverbial.
Praise and Jenelle
10:46
We gently tip toed along the ripped floor board as the upstairs room tremored and tiny rocks grazed our skin.
Mr Shelton
10:46
Loving your verb choices!
Hannah and Freya
10:46
The coal, midnight walls started tearing gently into pieces leaving the siltiest touch in the air.
Mr Shelton
10:47
Your colour adjectives are really improving.
Tyler and Marcel
10:47
The wallpaper is peeling from the walls
Leland and Jack
10:47
The abandoned , old flat that know one lived in burnt down into smoky ashes in a tragic accident.
Taya and Bobby
10:47
as I walked into the cold ,mysteries room I shivered with fright.
Valerie and Leighton
10:47
As I walked through the living room I saw the scruffy p, destroyed wall peeling of in a flash of dust. Who
Mr Shelton
10:49
You find a tunnel at the back of the cabin.  After following the tunnel you emerge to see this in front of you.  Continue the story.
Emily and Lewis
10:52
The ivory walls turned camel within a touch the walls would crumble and ash would fall onto the unstable,brunette floor.
Haylen and Jack
10:53 
As I walked the remains of ash come falling of the ceiling, and the smell of smoke choked me.
Hannah and Freya
10:53
As I walk further into the abounded house it rings a a different sound in my ear.
Lucas and Ruby
10:53
The unstable, pale black floor looked like it was going to fall with the riped, haunted looking wall.
Praise and Jenelle
10:55
As we found a tunnel we also saw a silhouette of a person as she emerged from the tunnel the light shined and birds hopped around.
Haylen and Jack
10:55
I stayed a far distance a voice echoed in my head telling me to come closer and closer I took a step it got louder and louder .
Mr Shelton
10:56
You've built suspense well.  Could this be better if it was written as more, shorter sentences?
Taya and Bobby
10:56
As I shouted for help all a could here was my loud , echo voice trembling.
Malaika and Maizy
10:56
I was horrified but once again i felt like i was pushed or something.  I approached the door it swung open as i stepped onto the floor board it screeched.  There was ripped walls and weird red writing along with ashes
Hannah and Freya
10:56
In the dark, gloomy tunnel you could hear the drops of the rain smacking the hard, rock floor.
Leland and Jack
10:57
As I walked thought my footsteps began to get louder and louder then I heard a scream.
Emily and Lewis
10:58
I ventured deeper into the house I found a puzzling tunnle and then entered there was a panting noise there was a person standing infront of me mumbeling echoad through my head who was this.
Valerie and Leighton
10:58
The bright  light was shinning in the from far away. I heard  loud footsteps  coming from behind me.
Lucas and Ruby
10:58
The black, dark tunnel blocking the sunlights way from me.
Hannah and Freya
10:58
As I walk further I walk further into the tunnel I see a souolete  of a person
Malaika and Maizy
11:09
I approached the back door i stepped out for the fresh air.  Suddenly it lead to an alleyway with damp brick walls and a some stranger she reminded me of a vampire and weird creepy noises . I wanted to run but my legs wouldn't i have no idia what
i wanted to  explore more so I opened the back door  and it lead to a strange alleyway  i saw some strange girl making weird noises she reminded me of a vampire.I wanted to  run but my legs wouldnt let mr
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