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14th May Show
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Hannah
10:23
The one who drags her  velvet red riding hood cape across the spotless marble floor. She leaves a travail of seaweed, salt water and shingle as she approaches the lost and found desk.
Oliver screen sww
10:23
Look at that lady.Those multi-coloured flowers in her hand nearly didn't fit in the packet
Mrs Pearce
10:23
@Ella - great idea to have your character 'glaring' - this verb tells me a lot about her!  Is she wearing or holding anything unusual?
Mrs Quantrill
10:23
George- can you tell use how the man is moving his polished shoes?
Harry - SWW.
10:23
Thousands upon thousands of people that are not suspicious. Then take this guy for example wearing scuffed shoes and brown rags over lapping all around.
Emily,10
10:24
There are many people in theme parks. That means many strangers. Like that girl over there. You see her?The one with the swirling black cloak billowing in the wind. The one that is sauntering across the wet grass, seemingly oblivious to the stares that follow her.
Mrs James
10:24
Sophie, which flowers are in the bunch?  Remember Pie's advice - name the objects as it helps to paint a picture in the reader's mind.
Arthur
10:24
Look, he's taking the weight off over on that stool, my goodness... he is wearing tight trousers.
Jonah
10:24
See this guy? The one one who is wearing dark shades and a smart suit and a rainbow tie.
Freya pensby primary school
10:24
No not that one the one sitting on his suitcase with bulging, curios eyes.
Felix F
10:24
Thank you Mrs James!!!!
Bethany Tatsfield Primary School
10:24
Have you got him? Picked him out? Well you should've!
Mrs Pearce
10:24
@Hannah I want to know more!  Great writing - hooked me in.
Sachin
10:24
@Nidarshana- What shade of pink? Rose? Tell me!
George Llandogo
10:24
Take this lady right over there. Yeah, she's the one holding the bouquet of flowers by the man I explained earlier.
Mr Sutton
10:24
Eleanor, that's a great image you have painted. Can you check it for a couple of little mistakes?
Mrs James
10:24
Felix - lovely manners!  You are more than welcome.
Sachi
10:24
@MrsPearce- it looks like a normal leg but is very bendy and every time the guy walks, then he wobbles all over
Gina
10:24
The man has a huge beard. I'm sure I can see some food lurking inside it.
Rebecca From Bunel Class
10:24
Can't you see him his left leg dragging behind him.
Gabby B
10:24
There she is! Raggedy, starving. A cold hunger behind her eyes her face sunken years of strife.
Emma B
10:24
Take this girl for example, see her? The one who is walking past the shop slowly and murmuring something you can't hear like a mouse squeaking.
jamesmarle
10:24
His beady eyes staring into your soul!
Louis SWW
10:24
The one whose distinctive eyes located in the darkness of his hood.
Mrs Pearce
10:24
@Bethany - lovely talking to the reader.  Why should I have spotted him?  Does he look unusual?
Emily-Oaksey Class3
10:24
The one who is opening the car boot and almost falling over!the one who is getting in her car
Sachin
10:24
@Utkarsha Lovely description
caitlin
10:24
i could hear some thing move and she started to just closer to me.
Shreesha
10:24
Look! he was the one who stole the boy from a conglomerate! Catch him! The one who has black glasses, brown suitcase and orange hair. HIM!!
Abigail (9) northmead
10:25
I wondered how she got up may be she jumped ? Down she came but with a gold suitcase and a silver box there seemed to be a gas around it .
Rose.W
10:25
The one with a littel stripy hazel brown and tree green t-shirt.
Mrs Quantrill
10:25
Ella from class 3- love the simile about the paper cut!
wilfred
10:25
See now he talking to that other man. Yuck his teeth are all black and rotten!Ghosh! he dose look angry now I wonder why?
Utkarsha
10:25
The one who is limping like she broke her leg.
Arthur
10:25
And that stiff collar can't be comfortable.
Edith
10:25
The one with the box that is't shut properly with tools and a axe hanging out of it.
Olivia N
10:25
see the girl with the bird nest her piercing blue eyes look towards the shadowy trees in the forest
Nina
10:25
She slowly walks across the shop dragging a little bag behind her.
Harry Pensby Primary
10:25
Take this guy for example. The one who is staring at me menacingly, with his hood up.
Mrs Eltringham
10:25
Emma - super sentence - keep going!
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