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8th June Show
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Sachin-Warren Road
10:28
Everybody looked as if the previous idiot I had replaced was better than me.
Pen Pen Malorees Junior School
10:28
I walked along the grubby pavements, lots of flattened chewing gum on the city streets.
ollie sww
10:28
As I walked into the room all eyes gazed at me, I felt nervous.
Isaiah-Thorntree
10:28
He missed the smell of his mothers cooking ; this new school did not greet him with kind faces.
Mrs Davison
10:28
Matteo -
Edith
10:28
The bell rang and the crowd of people rushed indoors
Daisy
10:28
Normally, when i walk in the class there is just quietness .But when i  walked in everyone's eyes was on me and they where still chatting but looking at me
Mr Simpson Summerfields
10:28
Eden - great sentences - I like the short sentence at the end for effect and impact.
arthur richards@oaksey school
10:28
well done Zack love the confinement
Lyra
10:28
I feel strange like there is a wall separating me from the rest of the school.  They don't understand me.  The sounds we make are different.  Will I ever know people here? Why can't I go home?
Tilly@ palace wood
10:28
I miss playing in the scorching sun and under the lush green trees but here well here it is the opposite. Here there is lugubrious looking clouds and cold hearted bully’s ruling the cold , dark streets. I shudder with fear.
Emily, Manor field
10:28
As I walked into the assembly hall and a hundred small, beady eyes snapped around to stare at me.
Beatrix@John Moore Primary
10:28
I felt like a shadow that nobody cared about. I missed the warm greeting of my friend.  Now, there was no point.
Will westfield primary school
10:28
He longed for the idea of a country with no war, he had to get out of there but how could he get out if his whole family were out at war, he couldn't just leave them behind.
Jackson
10:28
Why am I so lonely am i different.
Oakleigh Summerfields
10:28
He looks round and sees people looking in every direction in a nasty way.
Maggie SWW
10:28
She missed the warmth of the blazing sun on her face. Here, the rain poured down endlessly.
Sachin-Warren Road
10:28
I took one deep breath and stepped in.
Teddy WHPS
10:29
I missed my as i left them for secondary school friends.
Milly's mum
10:29
The first day at school; I stood outside the gates, waiting for my daughter. The village mums stared; some blanked me. I was an offcomer, spoke strange words, sounded different, "posh".
Hatty
10:29
I tried not to look at everyone in the classroom "i was so shy".
Alex (thorntree primary school)
10:29
He missed being so energetic in front of everyone else ; all the children stared blankly at him as if he was different.He longed to go home.
Mrs James
10:29
Amelia, great use of repetition.  This emphasises just how alone your main character is.
George Llandogo
10:29
Jose was from France but he new English and French so he could understand what they said but they didn’t. It made the English children nervous.
Lucas Westfield
10:29
I Walked into the play ground looking for someone to play with but there was no one in the play ground that was lonely just like Lucas.
Sofia W
10:29
The new girl walked in a hush went around the whole room. Whispers travlled around the classroom. I looked at the new girl  ,I could see her trying to blink back her tears. I sat there thinking about the girl;thoughts buzzed around my head.Where is she from? What's her name?How can I help? I stood up, trying to feel brave, but my knees were trembling with fear. Finally,I found the courage to say, "She can sit next to me."
Mrs Davison
10:29
What a powerful image you created there. I really stepped into your character's shoes there. Well done.
Tilly
10:29
Everyone stared at me when I walked into the class . I was nervous .
Ryan@John Moore Primary
10:29
I walked through the door and saw the teacher glaring at me.  There was a sharp smell of whiteboards pens.
Mrs Kilgour
10:29
Lyra - I love the idea of the metaphorical wall separating her from the others.
Sachin-Warren Road
10:29
Jake at John Moore - You have used he and my
Arthur SWW
10:29
She trudged over to a teacher and mumbled a hello. He took no notice and blew into his whistle.
Erin W SWW
10:29
As I walked into my new school I could here Miss hall shouting at the pupils
Freya pensby primary school
10:29
I missed the fresh, lush country side. That smelt like flowers. The city smelt of car fumes and smoke.
charlie - thorntree
10:29
He missed his old friends ; this new school was different and people stared at him all the time.
Mr Simpson Summerfields
10:29
Kailen - well done for using food as a good example of something a character might miss.
Mrs H Bispham Drive Junior
10:30
Erin - I like the idea that you can't escape from the eyes. Try to show your character is uncomfortable without saying it. E.g. I blushed and shuffled nervously. :)
Mrs Kilgour
10:30
Arthur - oh my - it just gets more hopeless for your character. I hope no child ever meets a teacher that ignores them. Is there a glimmer of hope for her soon?
Mrs James
10:30
Issy, your emotive writing has made me really sad.  How does your main character feel?  Does she become more isolated?
Mrs D
10:31
Jackson - I like the use of rhetorical questions -they are thought-provoking.  Remember to use the correct punctuation.
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