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8th June Show
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Mrs Murrin
10:31
Erin, would you know the teacher's name if you walked into a new school? Use empty words.
Mrs James
10:32
Arthur, I hope that no child meets a teacher like the one you describe.
Willem
10:32
As the boy stood in the doorway, I could see he felt anxious and worried.
Mrs Davison
10:32
Beatrix - lovely imagery there. I wonder if you could use a semi colon too. Have a look. I enjoyed your writing though. Well done!
James
10:33
I sat up, my back stiff. Every eye was fixed on me, staring me down as if I was from a different universe.
Mrs H Bispham Drive Junior
10:33
Willem - I like how you have taken the another child's point of view.
Mrs Davison
10:34
Amelia - Grange Park Primary
10:35
I loved your short empty sentences. You effectively created a sense of hopelessness, well done.
10:37
Matteo - What a powerful opener. I could really empathise with how your character felt. Well done!
Mr Simpson Summerfields
10:58
Arthur - we all really like your sentence - a great contrast between the pupil and the teacher!
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