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Comment Corner 6th May
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Thomas G
10:28
The ancient cellar had been hidden until now. Matt was pacing round the living room impatiently when he discovered it.Impulsively he lifted the creaky,aged floorboard and jumped down.
Sachi
10:28
Sachi: Hole in the ceiling, sorry
Mr Walker
10:28
Holly: loved the description of the cellar as ‘aging’. It brings the setting to life!
Jane
10:28
Coming to, Ben slowly focused on his surroundings; a cold stone cellar with a gaping hole in the ceiling. Where was he now?
Adam
10:28
Without warning, Gabi found herself on her back. Harsh, pulsing pain emanated from her spine. The ancient oak beams that had once supported the floor lay on top of her, crushing her ankle. A noise rose from the corner of the rose coaxing my eyes...
Lucas
10:28
A rundown village, infested with unknown creatures. Cautiously Sam tiptoed into a dark room. He turned around suddenly and came face to face with what seemed like a goblin. It raised its club and hit him with a clunk. His flashlight fell to the floor and his limp body collapsed. He woke up in an old basement tied to a chair, the goblin pacing up and down. "So what brings you to my city?" The goblin said in a growly voice.
Holly B
10:28
Peering at her map, she wondered where she had gone wrong.
Reece CHS
10:28
Old cottage, dark, cold abandoned full of rats and spiders.
Tallulah
10:28
Gingerly, Amber stepped into the dank, airless cellar. Knowing what had happened just in front of where she was standing sent cold shivers down her spine.
Sam
10:28
Stealthily and silently, the ninja crept into the shadows of the abandoned barn, ready to strike like a mantis.
Ju-Ah Lee
10:28
Spider webs are everywhere and dust covers your eyes.
Mrs James
10:28
Sachin, I like the fact that you have described the roof as a lead roof.  Very exact and specific
James F
10:29
Peter entered the stomach of the building.
Mr Walker
10:29
Mrs McCalmont: The darkness being split by the light is a fantastic description - well
LuisWRPS
10:29
In the corner of the dark cellar, something moved.
Mrs Hughes and Aneira
10:29
The tired soldiers ran from the droning engines and whistling bombs and into the cold, dark mill of stillness - it was different world.
Mrs James
10:29
Ryan, go back and add punctuation to your sentence.
Thea
10:29
Ellie slipped into dirty room. The walls crumbled away. The hole in the ceiling let sun light up the room she heard someone.
Felicia
10:29
Slowly, Maya tip-toed into the cellar. Was anyone in there.
Mr Sands
10:29
Anxiously, Jo stumbled into the cellar needing to find the source of the squeaking that was making her brother so uneasy.
Hadley
10:29
Jackson tiptoed into the dark and damp cellar, keeping his back to the wall determined not be seen. His palms felt clammy and sweat dripped down his forehead as he shuffled round the edge of the room in the shadows.
Mrs James
10:29
Holly, I like the idea of having a map and wondering where she had gone wrong.
Rosie SwW
10:29
In the gloomy, abandoned room the rats sprinted around.
Izzy
10:29
Unsure, Lilia nervously steped in the cell as the bed gave way.
Chloe -SWW
10:29
Peering round the wall of bricks, Amy saw a old mansion. But then a colossal shadow filled the room......
Sachi
10:29
The old cellar was dirt encrusted, with broken boards and stone and rubble. The walls were crumbling as Jack peered through, a large chunk of the ceiling fell just inches away from him. The mouth of the hole in the roof was slowly crumbling away as Jack creeped closer to the door.Nervously, he stepped in.
Hannah
10:29
Cass tiptoed down the rickety staircase, glancing behind at every step. Was that footsteps behind her? No, it can't be.
Isabella SWW
10:29
Gingerly,Ella peered round the corner of the strange room.
Mrs James
10:30
Felicia, I like the idea of tiptoeing. Now go back and see where you might like to add some punctuation.
Bethany
10:30
Lillie tumbled down onto the cobbled floor and dust sprayed into her dark eyes. She brushed off her arms and her heart pounded. They were here. Footsteps echoed around her as she dived behind a barrel. A figure entered...
Seb
10:30
Cautiously, Annie emerged in the attic, heart racing.
Sachi
10:30
Jack looked up.
Holly
10:30
Thanks
Isabella
10:30
the mysterious room broke in to pieces in seconds!
Sally W
10:30
Secretly, Kate tiptoed into the dark cellar. A broken window let some light shine in but, all she could see were crumbling bricks and cobwebs. She knew she wasn’t supposed to be there...
George
10:30
Suddenly, a clatter rang out through the empty warehouse chilling my bone to the core.
Lily SWW
10:30
The shed has spiders in which crawl around the pieces of wood.
Rebecca
10:31
Christine stepped inside. Immediately she felt the eyes of someone, something watching her. She looked behind her whanting
Mrs James
10:31
Isabella, I like gingerly it really gives me the feel of being nervous about entering.  Think about the word strange ... could you change this to another word to make it more descriptive?
Olivia
10:31
Cautiously, Emerald stepped up the ladder as a vase shattered into 100 fragments . When Emerald stepped in and paused. She stared.
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