You are viewing the chat in desktop mode. Click here to switch to mobile view.
X
Descriptive Writing
powered byJotCast
Prev Page View Full Chat Next Page
Jamillah and Richard
5:04
The water has frozen and now the water is crystal clear.
Stephen and Shinwin
5:05
In the spooky, cold forest all we see is shadows, reflection of the icicles lake. The waterfall splashed as the blizzard snow blew across the ever-green trees making suspense. The storm was very loaded for sledders and snowboarders, they could be blasted and whirled away. This is the type of weather will lead to hibernation for some animals such as bears and hedgehogs.
Mr Shelton
5:05
Love this! What great description!
Munashe and Miley
5:06
On a peaceful, snowy evening, the charcoal fog was covering the sapphire sky. The reflective, arctic river reflects like a mirror. During the evening, it was outstandingly frosty and it easily made people’s bodies shiver like an iceberg.
Mr Shelton
5:06
Great use of show me don't tell me.
Jacob and Dylan
5:07
The moon was set some one left there oven on. One night the house started burning until ther was nothing but dust.
Mr Shelton
5:08
Great.  What could you hear/smell at this scene?
Jamillah and Richard
5:09
The porcelain moon shon down on to the dark ,ebony ,scary house.
Mr Shelton
5:09
Wonderful description of the colours.
Lucas and jess
5:10
I approached the sweltering house but fear attacked me I stop in my path because I saw the moon it turned scarlet I ran a safe distance from the house l knew it was a blood moon.
Mr Shelton
5:11
This is great but be careful with tense, 'approached' is past tense, 'stop' is present tense.
Jacob and Dylan
5:11
The moon was set the sky was blue someone left there oven on.we could smell burning fire wood I could hear screaming.Not a single person survived.
Harrison and Riley
5:13
As we walked into the mist it turned night, we were all so confused of what’s just happened. We started to here noises from the distance as soon as we walked forward and we were getting even closer to the wicked witch’s house.
Mr Shelton
5:15
Wonderfully suspenseful!  Great use of a fronted adverbial.  What could you feel as you approached the house?
Maddie
5:14
In the windy abandoned house lived a girl she had charcoal sidian hair to add fuel to her fiery crimson eyes.She sat alone all day in the groaning house that smelt of excrement.Her pale alabaster skin gleamed as the house caught fire the rusty mahogany fire rushed to her face.As the firetruck drove in it crashed into her face.
Mr Shelton
5:15
This could be the best writing I've seen all year! Great description for the colours!  Well done!
Poppie , Millie
5:15
As the moon broke into daylight the witches swooped into the town now you call horror and finely burnt to dust...
Jacob and Dylan
5:15
The moon was shining the blue sky up above likes darker than usual I could hear someone screaming and crying for help I could smell everything in the house burning all down to the ground not a single soul lived
Jamillah and Richard
5:15
As, the lilac,cobalt,pearl covered the sky  the house lights  turned  on.
Mr Shelton
5:16
The fire subsides and you set inside the house.  This is what you find.  Continue the story.  Can you use a relative clause in your sentence?
Olivia and Dilly
5:17
As I was getting closer to the creaking, oak-wood door I heard an abnormal noise coming deep down from the heart of the forest. I could smell the ever-green scent from the trees. I could feel an immense creature shuffle towards me. As I turned around, the creature had disappeared from sight. My presence filled the house immediately as I trudged inside the house.
Mr Shelton
5:18
Amazing! Wonderful vocabulary!
Lucas and jess
5:18
The house exploded behind my back and I ran for cover I found a mud hill I dug a hole to the hill I looked out of the hole the blood moon exploded.
Mr Shelton
5:18
Great work.  Could the last sentence be split into 2 sentences?
Imisi and frankie
5:18
The mysterious,ancient house was corved in blaming flames. The flames danced and cheered as they came together and made one colossal fire. And the enormous ivory sphere gazed in awe.
Munashe and Miley
5:19
On a stormy night, the wolves were howling because it was full moon. In the middle of a forest, there was a house made out of planks. During the day, it was a beautiful house surrounded by lovely creatures and blooming blossoms, but during the night, the house and all of it’s surroundings would turn evil. But one lonely night, the house was abandoned and everything was left behind
Jacob and Dylan
5:21
The house was very burned when we looked inside it was very quiet I saw someone lying on the groun burned alive I looked even deeper not a single person survived this madness
Mr Shelton
5:22
Great work.  Don't forget your punctuation.
Jacob and Dylan
5:22
One night I was driving home when I saw this abandoned building I walked inside it was covered with smelly rats with sharp teeth I looked inside Nobody survived
Harrison and Riley
5:23
As we walked into the mist it turned night, we were all so confused of what’s just happened. We started to hear noises from the distance as soon as we walked forward i felt my heart skip a beat as soon as we were getting closer to the wicked witch’s house
Mr Shelton
5:23
Amazing! Don't forget capital I not i and a full stop to end.
Poppie , Millie
5:23
Ones upon a time there was a girl who disturbantly burnt a mental hospitalI but let us tell you something it isint much of a story it is a CRIME...!!!
Mr Shelton
5:24
Have a look at 'isint'.  Is this correct?
Munashe and Miley
5:25
On a stormy night, the wolves were howling because it was full moon. In the middle of a forest, there was a house made out of planks. During the day, it was a beautiful house surrounded by lovely creatures and blooming blossoms, but during the night, the house and all of it’s surroundings would turn evil. But one lonely night, the house was abandoned and everything was left behind. The next day, the house was destroyed and from of graphite. It’s surroundings were all destroyed , expect the animals.
Stephen and Shinwin
5:25
We were wandering through the field as we came across an aboriginal farm. When we originated, there was no one home. Nothing but animals in their pens. I sat down on an old, antique chair next to the fire place. I felt so warm I fell like I’m in a spa hotel getting the V.I.P experience I need to relax my self from all the stress. Suddenly, the fire expanded and burned the house down, me and my friend quickly dashed out of there leaving the house burned into dust and ash. As the owner of the house came back he couldn’t believe his eyes, someone had burnt his house down, he was furious and shouted ‘Who ever you are, you are going to pay for destroying my house!’
Lucas and jess
5:25
The dark abandoned basement had a dark shadow sitting in the pitch black  corner staring at the man.More shadows appeared some appeared peaking out of the corner one was hanging from the roof just staring they were the shadow watchers.
Maddie
5:26
Rats ran to the skeleton of her mother as she stared at the floor having no idea of who she is.Her  ebony hair wrapped around her mother.As she burst open the merlot blood splattered all over the place.She runs around now headless trying to murder those who have done bad when she finds them she would open up a cake shop in that area and sell cakes to their parents.The cakes smell familiar to their children and taste meaty.We don’t know what happens to them are they dead or alive.Or could they be in a cake.
Mr Shelton
5:26
Great again.  Don't forget the space after the full stop.
Mr Shelton
5:28
You find a cellar door in the house.  You go through it and follow the tunnel which brings you to this image.  Continue your description.
Jacob and Dylan
5:29
I heard screaming inside an abandoned building.every one who was in there only had a Skelton bone .When I was about to leave but then someone caused a fire then I had to run out the fire exit
Connecting…