JotCast | Sacred Heart Chorley

Sacred Heart Chorley

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David Mitchell

2:19

Ashleigh and Haydar - Now write that again including the pirate map.

Harvey+Amelia:)

2:19

Thanks Mr. Mitchell

Bobby,Lucas S

2:19

When I walked into the abandoned building with my friend I smelt fear coming towards me!

David Mitchell

2:20

Bobby and Lucas - LOVE THAT! Now tell me more!

Charlotte and Holly

2:20

Our reply to Mr Mitchell - It made us feel scared and anxious.

Lily-jo and Jessica

2:20

As we walked through the dusty,dark room there was a sudden creeping noise what made us feel petrified!

Lydia and Nathan

2:20

When we was running away from our babysitter we stumbled across this old abandoned house,as we opened the door we saw a man...

Lilymae and Piotr

2:20

The peeling wallpaper ,that made my face feel wierd and the old chair fell over because of penniws

David Mitchell

2:20

Charlotte and Holly - Now write that again including the new bit.

Isabella and Eva

2:20

The lonely, table and chair sat in the middle of the, damp, cold, smelly, creepy room, in an abandoned house.

David Mitchell

2:21

Isabelle and Eva - I like how you have used personification to make the chair lonely!

Lydia and Nathan

2:21

The peeling wallpaper behind him, made us shiver with fear!

Harvey+Amelia:)

2:21

In the pitch black room, we saw a black thing with wings screaming “REEEEEEEE”

Charlotte and Holly

2:21

The smell form the old building made us feel sick and ill .

LucasM and John

2:21

You run into the abandoned cottage to run away from the girl. As you take a breath through your nostrils, your eyes start to water at the smell. You go towards the wall and find a code. It says: money wanted to rebuild death city. Currently, this has no use to you.

David Mitchell

2:22

Lucas and John - That's really good. CAn you copy and paste it back into a new comment but instead of using the word 'You' can you make it like it's written in the first person?

Kieran and Owen

2:22

As the dark silhouette stormed into the room gasping for air, he filled his lungs with the dusty.

Daniel and Saverio

2:22

Walking through the old corridor, I saw a messidge in blood saying BE AWARE OF RHE

Lydia and Nathan

2:24

We saw a code on the wall suddenly, the man whispered something to us but we couldn’t hear it we started to panic!

Ashleigh and Haydar

2:24

The smashed walls of the house looked like a pirate map

Kieran and Owen

2:24

As the dark silhouette stormed into the room gasping for air, he filled his lungs with the dusty, disgusting air.

Bobby,Lucas S

2:24

I was not afraid I walked further and further until something dark was chasing me down the hall way as I ran out of the door I screamed in horror then I was scared!!

David Mitchell

2:26

Kieran and Owen - I love that you have included the word 'silhouette'! Can you check the last word for me?

Charlotte and Holly

2:26

The exploding lava almost hit us in the boat .

The fire from the volcano was sizzling like some sausages in a pan .

Harvey+Amelia:)

2:26

As the brave sailor sailed, the humongous volcano erupted.

David Mitchell

2:26

Charlotte and Holly - can you think of a better word for 'hit'?

Lilymae and Piotr

2:26

The old volcano which was about to explode was filled with lava and felt hot .

LucasM and John

2:26

You find a trap door. It needs a 6 letter code. Next you try to workout the code. You figure out the code is mwtrdc. The trap door takes you to the edge of the world.

David Mitchell

2:27

Lucas and John - I think that might work better in the past tense. Can you have a go at changing it?

Isabella and Eva H

2:27

The dark, black,volcano erupted yellow, orange, red Lava, the brown, old boat nearly got destroyed, by the burning, hot lava.

Ashleigh and Haydar

2:27

The bright volcano erupted and a boat was cunanoing past

Lydia and Nathan

2:27

The volcano we was searching for started to erupt we didn’t want it to maybe we have just bad luck

Daniel and Saverio

2:27

We saw a volcano starting to erupt and a small boat that was sailing to shore.

David Mitchell

2:28

Lydia and Nathan - Before you tell the reader it started to erupt, could you give some clues that something wasn't right? maybe a rumble, the ground shaking, the birds flying off from the trees?

Lily-jo and Jessica

2:28

As I was sailing across the sea, I saw a boiling,red hot volcano with red and orange lava coming out I was a little bit scared but this is were I wanted to be ,,,,

Charlotte and Holly

2:28

A better word for hit could be bashed or smashed - our reply to Mr. Mitchell .

Isabella and Eva H

2:28

The blue,sky was taken over by the red, orange, yellow flames from the volcano.

David Mitchell

2:28

Isabella and Eva - I like that description! What did it sound like?

2:29

There are some great endings taking place here! Keep it up!

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