JotCast | St. Gerrard's Live Writing Session

St. Gerrard's Live Writing Session

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Martyna Hannah

10:48

As the room was creeping up on me i could see the wallpaper ripping off to cath me.

Ben

10:48

As I entered the derelict house, I smelt dirt coming from the walls.

Isla and Alfie

10:48

I saw two path ways to go in i didn't know which one to go in but i went in the one with the creaking door on what was bigger than me.

Aisha,Aleshia

10:48

As i walked into the creepy abandoned house i could feel fear running through my shivering body

Leah and Isabelle

10:48

Also as we scraped are hands against the burnt crisp wall paper curled as it dropped very slowly to the ground we shuck and shed a little tear each.

David Mitchell

10:49

Sonya and Sienna

10:52

As I was standing in the middle of the parlour I felt the crumbly wallpaper fall down down my shirt like if someone was tickling me

Kai and Kyle

10:52

As I walked into the abandoned , burnt down house I was shivering because i heard little creaks from every doorway.

Keehan and Codie

10:52

As I cautiously walked into the abandoned,burnt house,I smelt the filthy dust flying through the air.

David Mitchell

10:53

Keehan and Codie - I love the word 'cautiously'! Well done!

Make the reader worried!

10:54

If you want to use the word 'silhouette', this is how you spell it!

Mr Greenwood

10:54

As I approached the mysterious girl at the end of the dark, damp tunnel, I began to feel a sense of unease... who was she and what did she want?

Keehan and Codie

10:54

Yesterday,I heard that my beautiful friend walked into a DAMP,DARKENED tunnel and never was found...

Jacob and Robert

10:55

The damp, dark,wet tunnel was a bad place to be in, that girl is my enemy

Isla and Alfie

10:55

The walls was damped and had mos rock on. Then the girls footsteps was very echoing down the disgusting tunnel.

Martyna Hannah

10:55

As i started to walk into the darkness i put my hand on the wall , i had dust on it .

David Mitchell

10:55

Isla and Alfie - The walls was or the walls were?

Kai and Kyle

10:55

As I walked into the scary tunnel I saw a dark, small shadow standing there with her arms on her hips not moving i felt the damp, wet walls.

David Mitchell

10:56

Kai and Kyle - Can you think of a different word for 'walked'? Or could you add an adverb before walked?

Harry and Alan

10:56

Inside the dark, deep tunnel, there is a silhouette of a creepy, tiny doll creeping through the tunnel, we are feeling the soggy, damp walls.

David Mitchell

10:57

Harry and Alan - Don't tell the reader it's creepy, describe it and make the reader feel that it's creepy.

Murtadha and Kian

10:57

I can see the tiny little girl i went run to her she disapeared like a ghost .

Amy and Weier

10:57

As I loudly ran, clattering on the cold, concrete floor, and saw a little silhouette of a girl giggling in front of me and what i can tell a sneaky grin , I cautiously put my hand on the wall for a grip to walk, because I could barely walk on the slippery ground beneath be.

David Mitchell

10:58

Amy and Weier - As I loudly ran or As I ran loudly? Which sounds better?

Isla and Alfie

10:58

The walls were damped and had mos rock on. Then the girls footsteps was very echoing down the disgusting tunnel.

Ms Limbada

10:58

what amazing writing and learning! Reading your blog in London. Carry on with the great work you do with the wonderful Mr Mitchell.

Kai and Kyle

10:58

i thought of a better word for walked i slowly strode down the damp,wet tunnel.

David Mitchell

10:58

Kai and Kyle - That's an improvement - well done!

Jacob and Robert

10:58

In the dark cave a girl stood there looking at me I think it is a ghost

Martyna Hannah

10:58

As I could hear the buzzing off the darkness my hands felt like they could tear into parts.

Murtadha and Kian

10:58

I felt the broken , brick wall and it felt really slimy and wet , like a lake is on top of us .

Sonya and Sienna

10:58

As I was making my way to work I decided to make a shortcut so I don't be late again, so I went through the damp , cold pathway ,as I walked a little further I saw a dark silhouette calling my name.

David Mitchell

10:59

Aisha,Aleshia

11:02

As I cautiously entered the creepy dark bricked tunnel I placed my hand onto the bricks on the wall and felt blood,I tried to sprint away, when at the corner corner of my eye I saw a black, dark figure.

Fearne Georgia

11:02

As i was walking into a dark gloomy cave i could feel the cold and dark breeze crashing at me i slowly turned my head i saw a little girl behind me

David Mitchell

11:03

Fearne and Georgia - Don't forget to use a capital I in sentences.

Murtadha and Kian

11:03

I can see a massive volcano surrounded by jungles , and waiting to errupt .

David Mitchell

11:03

Murtadha and Kian - Can you think of other words for massive?

Leah and Isabelle

11:03

As we turned left we could see our enemies silhouette as she weirdly stepped towards the end of the damp, cold ,dark and stone tunnel she weirdly laughed we thought she was the one who burnt our house to pieces.

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