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St John Fisher in Norwich
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Mr. Mitchell
8:55
can you think of another way to write that sentence without repeating 'dark soul'? What makes her look like a vampire?
Tianna and Grace🌹
8:54
As I walk into the mythical grave yard, in the corner of my whimpering eye, I see a  dark shadow , arms stretched wide like an evil vulture eating a corpse.
Mrs Rathi
8:54
Zak and James, great sentence. Can you change the spelling to show that there is only one person?
Miss Skinner
8:55
Fabulous Freya and Charlotte. The Goddess of darkness stood proud of her powerful surroundings. Let's develop the sentence now. What makes the surroundings powerful? What has she done to them to make them that way?
Curtis Spencer🙊🙊
8:55
In the background the beautiful moon is shining down on the looker witch.
Freya And Charlotte ✨
8:55
Mrs Cumming, our goddess is mean and her powers are dark mist.
Leon and Max 😜😎
8:55
Thanks for the feedback Mr . Mitchell
Lauren and Adam
8:55
The name of the women is the deadly Queen .
Mrs Lee
8:55
Oliver, do you think she has a delicate personality too?
💖Stevie and Lexie 💖
8:55
Standing viciously, in the moon light is a possessed goddess in deep black waits for her next victim.
Mr. Mitchell
8:55
I like this! What made her look like she was vicious?
Lauren and Adam
8:55
Because she rules the forest and makes it her way
Oliver
8:56
she could be on a mission
Mrs Cumming
8:56
Oliver, try moving your first comma to after 'arms outstretched' and see if it reads better with the pauses there.
Mr. Mitchell
8:56
Next image coming up. We are now moving away from the Dark Angel into a building.
Alicia🌹 and Emily💖
8:56
The dark angel, whose heart was as cold as ice, does not let anything escape her attention  in this abandoned forest, where she lived and died. Her soul is empty and her eyes are lifeless.
Zak and James
8:56
Mr. Mitchell we would call her death ring.
Mr Brown
8:56
Wow Alicia and Emily what fantastic imagery you have put in my head. Well done.
Mrs Cumming
8:56
She could be on a mission - or she could be at home!
Mr. Mitchell
8:57
Mrs Rathi
8:57
Zak and James - remember that names need capital letters.
Mr. Mitchell
8:57
What can you see? What might this place small like or feel like if you could touch the walls?
Rosie & Darcy 😍
8:57
Victoria dark soul,looks like she has been possessed by the devil.
❤Molly and Sophie ❤
8:58
A woman with the name of Ash, who stands proudly in the center of the haunted woods , with a soul as dark as night.
Bobby 😐👻 Owain
8:59
I was trapped in a dark creepy cellar, i felt the walls and all of the rust just crumbled off.
Mr. Mitchell
9:00
Now touch the walls, are they cold or warm? Damp or dry? Describe them to me.
Bethany💙and Olivia😃
8:59
The shimmering moon shone gracefully upon her like a ginormous spotlight. With deadly black birds zooming around her, it was hard for her to keep glaring at her immense wings.
Freya And Charlotte ✨
9:00
Miss Skinner, to improve the sentence, we have thought of: The Goddess of darkness stood up high aware of her powerful surroundings, which were full of mist and dark power.
Lauren and Adam
9:00
The Houce smelt like a carbige struck also water drips down the wall as the tiles broke if you stood a step to this buliding
Mr. Mitchell
9:01
What did the smell of the garbage truck do to your face? How did you react?
Mrs Cumming
9:00
Could you find another word for ginormous?
Leon and Max 😜😎
9:01
This abandoned place, filled with the screams of tortured souls, is haunted by friends of the devil himself.
Lauren and Adam
9:01
Sorry i forgot my full stop .
Mr. Mitchell
9:02
Well done for noticing!
Miss Skinner
9:01
Freya And Charlotte I love it. Well done. Does darkness need a capital letter? Could you expand on that by talking about what the atmosphere is like?
Bobby 😐👻 Owain
9:02
I realized a horrible reek was upon me and my nose went to its grave.
Bethany💙and Olivia😃
9:02
The aroma of the haunted hallway was a foul stench of ancient bodies that had decayed over the years.
Mr. Mitchell
9:02
I love the word 'aroma'. Try not to tell the reader that the hallway is haunted. Describe it in a way that makes the reader think it could be haunted.
Mrs Lee
9:02
Leon and Max, that was a super, powerful sentence! Well done.
Mrs Cumming
9:02
Lovely subordinate clause there, Leon and Max
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