JotCast | Year 5 Thursday 2nd April

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louis

11:51

Luckily, hope had came to them, a chance to escape.

Mr Fairhurst

11:51

Excellent. Did they have to run for it? Write another sentence and make the escape to the boat as dramatic as possible.

Luke

11:51

Desperate to escape, the men found a boat and started to gather speed and got away.

Grace

11:51

Then after a long walk they came to a river. Luckily there was a boat. Are they safe after all...

Mr Fairhurst

11:51

I love how you used the ellipsis to build suspense.

joseph

11:52

Running for their lives, they spot a abandoned raft on the side of the water this is thw

Eva Wright

11:52

Soon, they found a boat and hopped on to it so they could escape to the watering hole.

Amelia

11:52

Excited, the explorers finally found a way to escape the lions and sailed away on an abandoned canoe. This is their only chance!

Mr Fairhurst

11:52

I like how you varied the sentence length and use an exclamation mark to add drama.

Aiden G

11:52

As I turned a pack of lions were approaching, I could feel my heart ponding and thought it would burst through my chest. I was going to be their lunch.

Mr Fairhurst

11:52

Love this Aiden.

Lily

11:52

Suddenly, a small canoe appeared in one of the explorers eyes. They had a chance but how could they get to it. The small canoe was right nest to the hungry, fierce lions.

Shay

11:52

The stranded balloonists felt elated when they found an abandoned canoe.

Evie

11:53

The luxury beech is a very nice holeday

Mr Fairhurst

11:53

Can you make your writing more dramatic and add some suspense? Remember those lions were around.

Hollie Bond

11:53

The explorer looked left and there was nothing and then he looked right and there was a boat on top of clear water.

Josh

11:53

The ancient boat lay on shore for the people to escape.

Lexie

11:53

Luckily , they were near a bout whith some paddles it was there chance to escape.

Laila

11:54

It was dawn as we floated across the African savannah, the sky lite yellow and orange with the rising sun. The air was much cooler in the mornings, hunting time, we could see the lionesses among the long grass looking for the day’s lunch. Suddenly a large gust of wind took us in the wrong direction, the ballon was out of control and before we knew it we hit the floor with a thud.

Mr Fairhurst

11:54

Fantastic Laila, well done!

Alex

11:54

The canoe was sailing across the crystal water.

Jack

11:54

In the distance the two men saw the kayak, they sprinted towards it the lions close behind.

Sylvie

11:54

As the boat drifted away the vishes piretes romed desert for treure

Aoife

11:54

The explorers looked to the left and saw a canoe and ran as fast as there tiered legs would carry them.

louis

11:54

The boat took them as deadly stares appeared from the shore.

Jazmin

11:54

Luckily, there was no harm done the night the survivors had hid in the hot air balloon was cold and dark. Luckily they gathered around a luxurious speed boat and excepted as quickly as they possibly could

Mr Fairhurst

11:55

It looks like there is some more danger up ahead.

joseph

11:55

Running for their lives, they spot an abandoned raft,this is their only chance of survival.

matthew

11:55

Stepping back slowly, the men watched the lions carefully until they saw the boat. The boat was ready and they knew it was going to be close.

Luke

11:57

Just when they thought they were safe... a waterfall appeared and the current was very strong, was this the end?

louis

11:57

Panicking, they tried to steer the boat yelling for help but no people were found it was a catastrophy.

Laila

11:58

We landed right near where the lionesses where hunting the sun had risen now and we where in plan sight. we decided to hide in the balloons basket, hopefully they would pass. The worst thing to do is turn your back and run when faced with hungry lions

Grace

11:58

After a calm boat ride one of the men noticed the water was ending. Confused, the men new it was bad so they used there hands or anything to stop the boat from moving. Will they be safe?

Eva Wright

11:58

When they got out, they knew that they were in great danger as they were stranded on top of a cliff! There was no escape...

Lily

11:58

While leaving the Dock, the poor explorers spotted a deadly waterfall. Hopelessly, the explorers try to get away from the mighty waterfall.

Evie

11:59

The blue water going down the water fall is to hit the hard rocks at the botem

Mr Fairhurst

11:59

Just check this sentence Evie. It doesn't fully make sense.

joseph

11:59

Travelling at speed through the gushing waves, OH NO! their heading for a gigantic watterfall

Jack

11:59

Spotting the water fall the two men froze they tried to turn it around but it was to late they fell

Josh

11:59

As they paddled their battered canoe, they came up to a thunderous cascading waterfall with time being short and the fierce hungry lions behind them they had no snoo but to go down i

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